Been so busy!

The crazyness around here is never ending!

Recap:

Friday James gets sent home from school because of Conjunctivitis (aka pink eye)! Nasty nasty stuff! Idk if i've thrown up that much since I got preggo! Seriously you never want to deal with that! I have a strong stomach but there is something about mucos coming out of eyeballs that just ewwwww!

Saturday Junior got it! Yay for more disenfecting and cleaning an what not!

Sunday night James gets Croup! Ugh! So we spent sometime outside helping him breath better! Than on Monday we went to the Dr. to get the steroid because I was a little concerned about how bad he was coughing!

Today we went and got the tags for my mommy mobile! Aka 2008 Honda Odyssey. It's official im a soccer mom! So now I can get on base without a problem! Then off to the commissary to spend too much! Than I went and got the boys from school to find that James has been hitting his friends today!

Yikes! But he looked so cute and innocent when I dropped him off because he had pictures today! Oh don't worry when I get them I will post them! My baby boy is growing up! Preschool pictures already ;(. He's so smart though! Scares the begebbers out of me!

Not much else going on except that im starting to nest like you wouldn't believe. Oh and I need to clean carpets again because Junior threw up on them today! Thank you son! He really needs to learn where that should go! LOL! Abigails room is going to be done hopefully by next week and then we have the baby shower on the 15th and then I have my 3d ultrasound after that! Way excited!

Allergies...

So I made a dumby and accidentely gave Michelle a bite of my sandwich. A sandwich that contained mayonnaise (which contains eggs).

So more benadryl a doctors appointment and an infected g-tube Michelle needs to see and allergist.

Im glad that we know except now she has to have the scratch test. But than we can find out all of her other allergies too :) I guess there is a bonus to it. Than I will know what to stay away from it's just I know this is going to be scary for her!

Ugh...

Ok pics of everyone!

Bubble time

Peek a boo

24 week baby bump

James and daddy the day he deployed

Kishes!!!!

Shawn and I. I wasn't too happy this day!

Junior and his daddy!

Baby's room!

Hehe aren't these cute?

Her coming home outfit. Daddy had picked out the sleeper so I figured I would go with this since it matches!

I have such a project ahead of me!

At least I have most of everything!

Loving my complicated crazy life!

Had a great day today. Michelle did awesome in therapy not as good as she did last week (walking across the room) but she still did great. Her and her therapist Carmen were playing a game and it was bonk your head is what they were calling it. Well Michelle thoought it was great to slam her head on the mat. She is such a comedian.

I now have that "nesting" feeling. Im going to get on the other computer after I drop James off at school and show you why I have this feeling. I cannot get into Abby's room. I can barely open the door. We have the necessary things other than the stuff that we need to stock up on. I haven't the slightest clue really as to what to put on my baby registry. I have some stuff just not a whole lot.

Andrea and I are going to get going on the shower here this week I hope and get the date set and what not. I do know I need clothes lol! I got rid of so much after having Michelle except the things that are in the memory box.

These are the things I have...

Carseat/Base
Swing
Double and Single stroller
Jumperoo
Play mat (Thank you Kristen I did buy it and I love it!)
Crib/Mattress
Bassinet
Cribe set (Courtesy of daddy. It's the Olivia collection from Babies r us you have to look at it it's beautiful)
Mobile
Womb bear
Monitor

Things I still need to stock up on...
Breast pads (I nurse and I like my shirts to stay dry lol)
Dreft
Diapers
Wipes
CLOTHES
Hand sanitizer
Clorox Wipes
Lysol Spray
Baby powder
Lotion

The list goes on and on

I just don't want to find myself having to run out or send someone out to go get this stuff AFTER she comes you know? Normally I have plenty of time but with three kids already my days are so way far packed it's ridiculous! Oh well!

P.S. Smalls I am no where near supermom! LOL! I love you even more for thinking that though!

How sweet it is to be loved by you!

Yesterday I had an emotional day. I missed Shawn's call in the morning and went the whole day hoping he knew I cared and didn't do it on purpose. As a matter of fact I was breaking up a fight between my three mongrals over the color of something. Oh and as far as they are concerned yes it matters and no mom isn't right. LOL.

Well last night as im getting ready to lay down and go to sleep (attempt to anyway Abby doesn't really let me) I hear Michelle's monitor doing that funky noise when someone is about to text or call me. I figured oh it's the neighbor. Nope a number I don't recognize comes up! I answer and I hear "hey babe! I miss you!" My heart sank!

Than this morning he texted me by yahoo im and said good morning I love you i'll call you as soon as I can! The day just got better and better and is still getting better. I volunteered in James's class this morning and yes as every morning is it was a rough start getting out the door making sure the lunch was in his bag, Junior had his bunny and his Ironman and whatever else was gonne make him happy while he was at the sitters house. And getting Michelle her bolus feed and meds. and sippy cup and her laxative. But I got it all done and we were at the school when the bell rang lol! Oh plus I fed and watered the dogs too all in an hour!

James introduced me to his class and said "This is my mommy. Her name is Tara and I love her very much!" I could have cried! The whole morning was just awesome! Now onto nap time and well see how well that works out! What a great day!!!!!!

Finding my way back..

I have to say because of a disturbing scene that happened when I was pregnant with my oldest son James and some other things along the way I had not been to church in a while. While I do believe I found it hard to understand some people.

Now I was born and raised a Catholic. And while I do believe some of the things that they do it still makes it hard. The lord has blessed me with a loving husband, 3 going on 4 beautiful miracles. Granted I doubted some things for a while. I found myself doubting what faith I did have left when Michelle was born.

I found this in an old blog I had written..

" Today I sit here in the biggest slum I have ever been in. My baby girl Michelle who was born too early due to complications we don't have answers to yet may not live through the weekend. I sit here and wonder how could this happen, why isn't God protecting my baby? What did we do to deserve this?"

Now onto yesterday I went to church with my friends and I have to say I have not been so happy with my decision to go back in a long time! I loved it! The church is great the people there are great! My children enjoyed it so much! Last night when I was sitting down thinking about my day I kept going back to the same thing I had been told so many times and had told myself so many times... God does not give you anything that you cannot handle!

It's true. So many emotions rise over me and I find myself apologizing for the past few years. I wish I could stop. Im going to do many changes here very soon! Starting NOW! I do believe I have never not believed! Iwant my children to know and find their way into God's arms. Im hoping that when my husband does come home from his deployment he is able to find his way as well. Sometimes we all get a little lost and just need a guiding hand. Thanks to Jamie and her family I have found my way back and I am going NOWHERE!

James told me yesterday and today too... Mom church is fun can we go again? Today he tells me I don't want to go to school I want to go to church mom! Shawn Jr. is the same way!

Sooo

The boys broke their dresser, Michelle is allergic to eggs and my dogs are a pain!

Everything comes in three's right??

Expanation..

I could never figure out why she wouldn't eat eggs. Never! She just refused. So today I dressed them up and made a game out of it! So while I was cleaning up and she was playing with her spoon apparently her body decided I don't like this! I come over to her and her face has blotchy red spots all over it! Now we all know what that means. So I strip her down get her in the tub give her some benadryl and watch her. She was breathing a little fast but not bad. So we watched we waited and her rash is now gone breathing is 110% normal and she's allergic to eggs! Ha way to go mom! Boy do I feel like a big dummy!

I told James to go get socks out of his drawer in his room and he comes back screaming his dresser is broke and that it hurt him! I of course made sure he was ok and then off to do damage control. Sure enough this 15 year old dresser is busted! So online I go to hunt down a new one! Got a great deal at Jeromes.com. Very happy with what I paid. Now I just have to wait for it!

Boe and Gunny. Well they are just a pain. Boe howls way too much and needs to stop eating my house and gunny well he's just gunny! They need baths today though. Like I don't have enough to do already right?!

Oh my! Plus we still have to go to the store finish cleaning my house and whatever else I want to do today!

Leg braces...

Michelle did NOT like being sized for these at all. She was frightened because her legs were being held still and the there was a razor blade cutting off the casting material and then scissors to top it off! Poor thing!

But of course I got to design them and they are going to be SUPER cute! Pink with hearts!

If you would like to learn more about AFO's and how they help people please click http://www.pediatric-orthopedics.com/Topics/Walking_AFOs/AFO/afo.html

So as soon as Tricare sends the authorization then it will be about 3 weeks and we will have them! Im so excited! Hey and who knows you may have learned something today you didn't know! I know I did! Have a good day everyone!

It's so hard

Not being able to pick up my phone and text him that same questions that I did everyday for so long.. " Hey babe what time are you going to be getting off? I love you!".

I was talking to out friend who was deployed with Shawn last time and he said he has caught himself starting to text him.

Shawn Jr. woke this morning with croup and because he would not stop wheezing I took him to the ER to get him a new inhaler because his last one was out.

James has been acting out alot here lately. I know he is trying to see how far he can go before he hears those words of "mister if you do not stop you will be grounded and you will loose a toy". He honestly stops whatever it is that was wrong RIGHT away when he hears that.

Michelle is FINALLY feeling better. I pretty sure ontop of the shunt issue she had the flu too. Because I was JUST barely able to get her to tolerate whatever she wanted to eat during the day and 2 bolus feeds during the day. So tonight is going to be the ultimate test of seeing how she does on her continuous. Hopefully she has no issues and I don't have to get out of bed unless Miss Abigail decides to use my bladder as a punching bag!

As for Abigail! Oh my can she be a stinker sometimes. Like right now for instance she is just chillin in the WORST possible position. Will she move for me NOPE! I've even tried moving her! Nothing is working. At least the backache I had ALL day today is gone. For now I hope.

Let me tell you how I gave myself that one. I woke at 2 in the morning to a foot in the face. This foot happened to belong to James and of course I was startled and I yelled at him of "James you need to lay still and stop NOW!" Im pretty sure I startled him as I think his eyes were closed so of course he tried running out of my room crying. I jumped out of bed and caught him to cuddle him and apologize. It's Karma I tell you! Since I upset him so badly my back hurt like the dickens until we talked this afternoon of how if were going to get into mommmy and daddy's bed that we need to hold still more.

Well I think the tylenol helped too. But still. I read an article today on Yahoo.com and honestly could not believe the things that I read! Did you know I believe it's Nebraska lets parents drop off their children at any hospital under the Safe Haven law? Now I know EVERY state has this law but im talking about children of all ages! People are coming from out of state to drop off their children. This mother that I read about already had a child in foster care and was about to be charged with neglect I believe. My question is HOW COULD YOU HARM A CHILD???? Neglect counts as harming as far as im concerned! Because someway that does harm the child.

I could never even imagine doing something like that! In another one of my opinions all of her children should be taken away from her! Ugh frustration comes over me about this!

Well im done ranting for now! I should probably be off to bed so that I can go get Michelle sized for her AFO's tomorrow! So excited!

My big big girl!

I am so proud of Michelle. Let me just start out by telling you we were given a VERY slim chance of survival for Michelle when we found out about her bleed.

We were told that she would never move, never eat, never talk, she would just lay there. Well I have something that I would love more than anything to rub in the face of those doctors just because I had and still have more faith in her than anyone.

MICHELLE WALKED ACROSS THE ROOM IN HER WALKER IN THERAPY TODAY!

Something she has NEVER done! Can you say that I balled like a little baby! Im so proud of my daughter! She has overcome more than any of us even know! Including myself!

I want to throw a party to celebrate! Im thinking of doing lots of fun stuff in the next few days for her! I can't wait until her daddy calls so I can tell him!

So sick, so tired, so busy...

So many ask me the same question almost everyday.. How do you handle having Michelle getting sick and never knowing what is going to come of it, James and Shawn Jr., plus Shawn deployed and your PREGNANT???!!! HOW!!!!!!

Little detour to the point ok? If I loose you sorry...

I was on the phone with my sister in law Tiffany.. Apparently she is amazed with me.. lol... She had called to see if we were going to go up in smoke because there are fires after fires here on Camp Pendleton this week and she asked what I was doing. My reply was trying not to throw up the popsicle I just ate.. Well here's another detour into my story lol.. I went to Kingman, Az for the weeked well my Mother in law forgot to tell me that my neices had been throwing up all week.. Yay.. Get home on sunday Shawn Jr. threw up all over me..

Now onto Sunday night.. 11 pm Michelle starts retching like no other... I get NO SLEEP!! (retching is trying to vomit and unable to. Has to do with her fundo) so by 6:45 in the morning when she is still retching and saying her head hurts off to Childrens hospital we go.. Many hours later we get her valves reset and IV and Zofran to stop the retching and we were on our way home.

Now we get home and I wasnt feeling good the whole time we were at the hospital. I sat down ate and drank something and like an hour after we found out the Juliet fire broke out on base I was running to the bathroom every 2 minutes! Ugh. So today I went to the doctors to get my progesterone shot and they gave me another shot so that I could keep food down and get some sleep. Again thank you Jamie for picking James up from school for me! I really do appreciate it!

Well anyway how do I do it?? There is this inner strength that you get when you become a mother. I hear everyone say I can hardly do it with 2 how are you going to do it with 4??!! I got news for you im gonna have 5 kids because my husband is the biggest kid of them all! You just do it. I love my life. I couldn't imagine not having the life I have. I couldn't imagine not having learned the things ive learned. Im so grateful for my baby girl. I seriously don't know what I would do without Michelle.

I wouldn't trade this for anything! Hopefully this makes sense! Im pretty sure I went way off track somewhere! lol!

My Heart.....

Hurts... I want so badly to hop on the next plane to Maine to stop him from going.
How do you do something so life changing by yourself when it took the both of you to make it happen??? Someone please dear god explain this to me.
Im trying so hard to keep it together for the kids but im finding it harder and harder to do the more time im home. I need my husband.
Michelle has cried for her daddy all day and she does not understand that when that bus drove off so did dada. I keep telling the kids that we will see him soon it's just going to have to be after Abigail is born. They don't really like that response all that well.
My hearrt hurts... My head hurts... My eyes burn from all the tears...