" NO MORE!!"

Is what I so generously stated to the big bottle of Keppra lingering in my cabinet. And yes I ever so hastily threw it into the trash can.

One year ago yesterday I made a decision along with the help of Michelle's pediatrician. I was always against Michelle being medicated. In my gut I knew Michelle's epielpsy was linked to her Hydrocephalus and her shunt (well now shunts).

I prayed and I prayed and I prayed for an answer. I needed to know if taking the medicine away would help. I needed that feeling of no longer having a lost feeling bout me everytime I dosed out her twice daily medication.

In all honesty I wanted to "see" Michelle. We had never seen her. Never talked to her. Never played with her. In the sense that she was ALWAYS medicated. Whether it had been a Narcotic, Tylenol (whichs makes her loopy), or some other random med she had never gotten to be Michelle.

For one year I have been able to embrace Michelle. One full year. No medication except for what was necessary.

The best part. NO SEIZURES!! Not even with the infection. Or the 3 shunt issues. I am glad that my prayers were answered and I did what I did. I know that I would have known right away if I was doing the wrong thing. She changed so much. She talks more, spends more time awake, is more active. She no longer has that "drunk, hung over" look to her.

Shawn like's to say "She's my Michelle and I am not sharing" then Michelle promptly tells her daddy "Mommy is my favorite" and generally reaches for me if I am withing eyesight. For this I am grateful.