Growing up I guess to a point I resented my parents. My dad especially. Having an alchoholic father is not easy let me tell you. Even to this day I still find myself disliking him more than words can describe.
But as I sit here after the morning I have had thus far and it is only 9:41 am I can understand why my parents both tear up everytime we leave their house. They remember the baby that they brought home from the hospital. So innocent. So needing. Just perfect.
It feels like yeaterday that I brought James home. It doesn't even seem real that Shawn Jr and Michelle were directly after that.
The holidays always make you think. About the things you normally wouldn't. Last year my thankful list was this:
1) My wonderful husband returning from his first deployment
2)My daughter pulling through her cyst surgery like a champ.
3) My wonderful friends who stood by my crazy side while I probably should have been slapped somewhere along the line. But they saw me to the light and were still there.
4) Having another year with my grandma. As much as she drove me crazy I know my purpose in life is to help others.
5)My children. The greatest gift of all.
This year is harder for me to be thankful. I try sooooo hard but I see so much negative.
-Both mine and my friends husbands are in a War zone.
-Im pregnant and alone.
-My grandma passed earlier this year. 78 wonderful years on this earth and she is no longer in any pain -Bittersweet.
I do have a thankful list this year though.
*My children.
*My wonderful friends who are still standing by my side. They watched me change for the better and I love them for being here for me.
*My family who would do whatever they could to help.
*Somewhat of a financial stability. Somewhat anyway.
*My better half calling as much as he does and writing just to say he loves me.
It's short but it's mine. Before "growing up" I never would have thought that even the simplest things in life can change everything. Sometimes for the better sometimes for the worst. As much as I do not agree with the way I was raised I find myself remembering that I was being taught a lesson. A lesson in which would one day make me the better person. The one who would do anything to make sure that her children are brought up in a caring, loving, nurturing home. Not the mess I was brought into. So in a way I owe my parents a thank you.
You may not have intentionally done it but I am a better person because of the mistakes you made. My kids know what a "family" is!
Thanks Google...
10 years ago
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