Thinking back: Monday May 24

Monday morning was supposed to be like no other. I was supposed to get Michelle ready to go to school and get the boys ready as well and head out for our day just like any other day. I enjoy my "ordinary" days. In fact I LOVE those days.

But what Michelle and I did was worst. Way worst.

Sunday ended with a call to the on call Neurosurgery department at UCSD. Children's wasn't on call that night and I had no choice. I had already taken her to the ER on Friday to be told it looks like severe constipation is keeping her shunt from draining. Have her take this medicine and come see us Monday at 9 A.M.

Knowing that we had an appointment for Monday was slightly relieving. But not all the way. With my phone call left un-returned and the fact that Michelle was now comfortable and sleeping I felt ok with staying home and just making the journey down in the morning. They wouldn't have been able to do anything that late anyway unless they felt she was critical and at that point she was still laughing to a point.

That night we maybe got 4 hours of sleep. She was just miserable. So I finally decided we would just go to the ER and take our chances there. Surely they would see that she wasn't herself and they would at least figure it out faster than the clinic would have. By the time we got everything together it was past 7 and in the middle of rush hour traffic. I tried as best as I could to go faster but unless you have those pretty blue and red lights people just do not move. So we waited our turn.

While we were in traffic I called a great friend of mine and asked her "what should I do?? Should I try for the clinic or just go to the ER?" I knew very well that UCSD was right up the road and if she continued to look like she did we would just stop and call an ambulance. Finally the traffic broke and I told her I was just going to the ER. At this point it was past 8 and I still had another 20 minutes ahead of me if I didn't want to get a hefty ticket to go along with the sick child.

We finally pulled into Children's and I always valet my car whenever we go to the ER. It's easier than walking the parking lot. The valet guy was no where in sight and Michelle was retching so hard she looked as though she was seizing. I started to walk away and the guy was finally there so I got that all taken care of and walked into the waiting room. One of the nurses from the TRIAGE area recognized me and recognized Michelle and saw her retching and immediately thought she was seizing and asked me how long she had been seizing for. I told her she wasn't seizing she was trying to puke and couldn't get it past her fundo.

They took her from me and as I followed them through the halls some of the strain was lifted. Knowing where we were and that everyone knew us and that soon this would be all over and we would be home. "She has a virus" is what I told myself until her surgeon walked into the ER to examine Michelle. After that I knew that her shunt had failed and we were going to surgery.

We were upstairs and into the OR before I knew it. She was sleeping and I let the nurse carry her back. I went to sit in the waiting room knowing that a simple proximal catheter switch out only takes 30 minutes and if I left to do anything he would be done before I got back. I didn't want to chance that so I stayed in the waiting room with everyone else.

1230 she went into surgery....

1330 she still wasn't out....

1430 she still wasn't out...

With every passing minute I started to get more and more nervous. About 1435 (aka 2:45) I finally saw one of the OR nurses Nurse Jackie peek her head in and wave at me. Relief is what I felt right then until I saw that look on her face.

She said "it took alot longer than her thought it would and I promise he will explain as soon as he gets out here but for now im going to go sit with Michelle." Everything just seemed odd.. What did she mean by that I kept thinking.

I sat and waited for Dr. Meltzer to come in and after what felt like forever he showed up with this worried expression on his face. Now I know Dr. Meltzer. I can tell you your first impression of him is not what you would expect. He's rude, self centered and very very overprotective of his patients. And that would be why he is the amazing surgeon that he is. Once you get to know him he is really a caring man who wears his heart on his sleeve and these kiddos mean alot to him. Worry is an expression I have never seen on his face before. I have seen it on the NICU staff's faces when they found Michelle's bleed, I have seen it on plenty of other doctors and nurses but never on his. And frankly I never want to see that look again.

He said that when he got in her proximal catheter was completely blocked and so was the distal portion. He went on to say that there was more scar tissue in her abdomen than what he had hoped to find and with that that there was a good amount of the distal tubing stuck in scar tissue in her abdomen that he was unable to remove.

I sat in silence and listened to everything he said but still I just couldn't shake the look of worry on his face. He said she would be listed at fair condition until she started eating and drinking and that I could go and see her within a few minutes. I went and sat in the waiting room and about 15 minutes later I was back with her. One of the first things I noticed was that she wasn't waking up and she always woke up right away. I asked her nurse if she had woken up at all. She said no she had been sleeping since they got her and were just going to let her rest. I was fine with that.

We were finally transferred to our room on the Medical/Surgical floor of the hospital. I thought for sure she would wake up when we transferred her beds. No such luck. She just continued to sleep. The day shift nurse tried her hardest to calm my worries saying it would just take a little time and she would wake up. I can't tell you how many prayers I said right then but I think I chewed on someones ear for a while. I was almost asleep when I heard her wimper and it was the greatest thing I had heard all day.

We tried to get her to eat and drink but all she did was retch. For hours on end she retched. They gave her morphine to try to get her to sleep, and zofran for the nausea and tylenol as a backup to the morphine and nothing worked. 3 hours later she finally just collapsed and slept and as she slept I prayed.